Missed Opportunity?

My son’s fish died this weekend.  It was a beta fish and his first pet that we got just for him (we have a dog but the dog has been around prior to his being born).  Now the ethical question came into play… do we discuss death now or do we try and have this conversation until a later time?  Of course we opted to try and postpone it for now.  I cleaned the fish bowl and then ran out to get a semi-lookalike beta replacement… it is pretty close but my wife knew right away it was the same fish.  Most importantly, our son was happy his fish was back in his habitat without thinking anything was different.


This got me thinking, do you avoid difficult conversations at work?  Do you take on extra work to avoid a poor result or to not get the team in trouble?  Do you not confront someone when you think they are not producing what they need to do for the team?  Do you care?


I have definitely missed opportunities in the past to have a difficult, or potentially difficult, discussion.  What I hate doing is to put someone on the defensive because that never ends well and then it is a who-said-what and me-versus-you and blah blah blah blah.  People tend to go defensive immediately without really considering other alternatives.


Work is personal but sometimes conversations don’t need to be that personal.  Think about how to frame and a conversation in a constructive manner and then steer the conversation in order to best allow for a good discussion.  This does not need to be an adverse time but one where you both may get on the same page and reestablish expectations.  Seek advice from your peers or other managers outside of the situation to get fresh perspective.


Being conversational instead of condescending will go a long way in these times.

About kufarms
10 years in HR and recruiting both in the corporate and agency worlds. Corporate Recruiter and Socail Media Strategist. Looking to share and discuss topics as well as hopefully provide some thought. Dad of 2 with a loving wife.

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